Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Dreams & Aspirations Must Become Proclamations

We all have dreams, goals and wishes. I've always been told that it is best to keep them to yourself, because not everyone will believe in your vision or wish the best for you. Therefore, they might discourage you into giving up, or even sabotage your efforts.
      Because of this, I've always tried to be secretive about my deepest dreams. But this attempt has often been hindered by my own personality traits. I can be a very friendly, talkative and outgoing person. So if I am in the midst of excitement about a particular goal or dream, I can't help but to tell somebody. So, I've always been conflicted about which tendency I should focus on: secrecy or openness.

      This conflict of the urge to share my dreams versus the idea that I have to protect them from sabotage resulted in a strange personal phenomena: whenever I decided to talk about my dreams, I would try not to make it obvious that this was something I truly wanted to happen. So, my dream of being married one day with at least three children has often been expressed this way: "If I ever get married, then I might consider having three children."A similar statement would be made for my dream of being a published author: "If ever I have to stop working, I'll focus on being a writer. Maybe I'll even get published."
      But I recently had a revelation. I realized that the way I talked about my dreams (as if they were something that might not happen, or wasn't that big of a deal) was influencing my confidence in them, and therefore, my ambitions towards them.
      The fact of the matter is, I have dreamed of being a published writer since I was a little girl. I begin writing poems in the second grade, and creating stories by the time I was twelve years old. But once I internalized this idea that talking about your dreams means they will be sabotaged, I also internalized a fear that I couldn't have the things that I wanted, that I couldn't be all that I desired to be.
      This fear even influenced my relationships. I, like many women, had assumed that the worst thing you could tell a man you're interested in is that you want to one day be married. Such a statement must surely scare away any prospects who have a fear of being tied down. So, I always tried to come off like this nonchalant person: "I might get married one day, I might not, it doesn't really matter."
      Well, all that achieved was that I tended to attract men who didn't want to be married, and probably turned off the ones who were looking for a future wife.
      What I have finally accepted, is that it is perfectly okay to push for my hopes and dreams; to be honest with myself and my closest allies about what they are; to refuse to internalize the fear or the idea that they can't come to pass; and, most importantly, to push with all my might to make them come true.
      Because the soul that has been belittled by lack of faith, can be rebuilt to the highest heights with belief, confidence, and love.
      Therefore, I encourage everyone to take the dreams they hold in their hearts, and turn them into proclamations. There is power in words, power in the person who believes the most in you.
--Alison M. Caddell (C) 2015

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